Hi friend,
I’m so glad you’re here.
I’ve been having lots of conversations about integrity these days. Mostly with myself, admittedly.
Integrity and money, actually. Yeah, I’m fun to be around.
You know when something just keeps popping up in your life in, like, every random corner of it?
Someone who didn’t pay back a loan.
An investment I made and had to finish paying.
A debt from a past business everyone seemed to forget about—one where things weren’t clear-cut (was there an invoice? who managed that project? so many open-ended questions, but mostly: can I live with myself if I don’t take care of it?).
A bureaucratic issue that means something is blocking something, making something else more expensive, and putting someone else’s commitment to the test.
A simple favor someone asks.
And probably a few more things.
And suddenly I find my relationship with money, my relationship with being direct and unapologetic, my relationship with boundaries, and my relationship with generosity—all under a magnifying glass. A magnifying glass engraved with the word “integrity.”
I’ve been reading The Diamond Cutter (that’s an affiliate link btw) after swimming for the last few weeks, and today’s chapter hit me in the face exactly with this.
Now, I consider myself a moral and ethical person, as well as kind and generous (mostly). In fact, when I find myself in difficult times, my go-to coping mechanism is to give. When I work with clients, I tend to err on the side of overdelivering. But… BUT.
I’ve had seasons in life when things got to be just too much. When I was finding it hard to breathe, let alone deal. And I do know that in those times, I had some integrity leakages.
It looks like:
“Of course it’s ready, it’ll be there by EOD”—when EOD happened to be the last day of the workweek, earning me the weekend to actually complete the project.
Or: promising myself I’ll stand up for myself and bailing on that promise.
Or: taking on a content project when I know I shouldn’t.
Or: working with a sweet, kind client whom I know donates to causes I find morally corrupt.
Or: turning a blind eye when a partner donates my own hard-earned money to causes I oppose.
I haven’t been there in years, but these last few weeks made me feel like the universe is telling me: it’s time to discuss integrity with myself. It’s time to own up to those moments. And it’s also time to forgive myself for them.
I texted someone whose lack of integrity has been hurting me and told them: I love you. I value you. I have compassion for you.
And… I need you to own up and take care of your side of the lane.
Because radical compassion ≠ lack of boundaries. In fact, I believe making someone face boundaries is a form of generosity in this case.
What does radical compassion mean to you? Where can your integrity use some tender loving care? Don’t answer me :)
Couples Therapy for You and Your Biz/ Career
I have an unhealthy obsession with the show Couples Therapy and this week it finally got to me and I started asking myself and basically everyone around me: What if your business or career took you to couples therapy? What would it say? What would you? And how would the therapist react?
Read more on Linkedin or just sit with those questiosn for a while.
That’s it from me today, and if this issue left you with some heavy thoughts - I highly recommend watching the Las Culturistas award for the most fun watch we’ve all had in a while.
Until next time,
Yours,
Chedva x
ps. End the war. Bring the hostages home. Feed Gaza. Elections now.