Finding Your Element When The World Is Too Much
A wild ride through existential questions, memes and books
Hi there, how are you? Can you believe it's been another week of crazy/devastating/mindboggling news/weather/being? Yeah, me too. Let's sit together for a few minutes and talk about things that don't skyrocket our cortisol or adrenaline, shall we?
In this issue:
When did you last feel in your element?
What is your "free will" meme?
Which character would you choose as your avatar?
A few more questions to serve you this week
Ok, found yourself a comfy seat? Good. It's story time.
The Luxury of Questions
A few months ago, I had a MOMENT. To be honest, my last 2.5 years have been a continuous moment of transformation, but around October-November this year, I finally had these few weeks when I had pocket in time - just after a big apartment move and my son getting acclimated to his new school, just before me starting a very meaningful course and also going through a medical procedure. I knew that in the following months there would be a lot happening: that medical procedure (I wasn't sure how the recovery would go - thankfully it was super smooth), that new program (I haven't studied this much in decades) and finally - my new business, which I had a concept for and a lot of thoughts and hopes and passion, but not much else*.
And Reader, I had time. I knew for a few weeks it wouldn't make sense to start anything, so I had the luxury of thinking and feeling and sensing my way to what I want.
Man, that's scary.
So after much avoidance/resistance, I took my trusty notebook with me on a tour of Tel Aviv and Ramat Gan's cafes and parks, and started jotting down a lot of questions, it was good to get them out. My friend Liron always says that once you write something down it doesn't catch real estate in your brain so you can feel lighter - and that is so true.
So there I am, just writing these questions fast and furious making my hand hurt (I've never held pens the right way and my carpal tunnel hates that), and there's one question that makes me do a double take. It was this one:
When Did You Last Feel In Your Element?
Reader, this question has sent me on a frenzy. And it was a good one. I decided to expand and to narrow this question: When did I last feel in my element in a work capacity? When did I last feel in my element in the last year - no matter work or life? When did I feel most in my element in my career? Which tasks or projects or activities made me feel most in my element in each stage of my career? What was it about those things that made me feel in my element?
I laughed. I cried. I blushed. I felt kinda proud. (But mostly I laughed).
For example, 5 times I felt most in my element in the last year:
Training an executive to give a keynote talk (and working with him on all aspects of that talk)
Submitting and them reading a personal essay I wrote in an open mic section of a book launch about marriage
Turning around the positioning (including tone of voice, ideal client personas, differentiation… the works) for a fintech startup
Decorating my apartment
Overhaling my wardrobe and hair (well, wig) style
You can laugh… I did too. What I'm trying to say is, there are hints in each of those for how I want my life and work to look like. Nothing is too silly - it's ALL information.
Reader,
When did you last feel in your element?
Free Will as Radical Choice
Do you know the Free Will meme? I don't mean the one with the cow choosing whether to go left or right. I mean the verbal meme that lots of people use on Tiktok, threads, etc. Here's an example:
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Basically, it's just people remembering they can do a different thing or do a thing differently and going for it, even if it's silly, I love that.
When you think about it, it's a pretty existential question, right? It always reminds me of The Neverending Story by Michael Ende, where the protagonist Bastian Balthazar Bux receives the amulet Auryn and it says: Do What You Wish. At the beginning he regards it as a free-for-all. Finally after being bullied at school and feeling like he's destined to be overlooked, he's the hero of the story (not to mention the savior) and can do as he pleases. But as the story progresses, we find out (along with our increasingly insufferable BBB) that this is actually a command, and a very challenging one at that. Figuring out what your heart desires can be a toughie, and then going for it is a challenge on its own.
(Yes, there's a direct connection to the previous question… can you see it?)
Characters as Avatars
Speaking of books, this week I sent out an invitation to a very small group for the first installment of a new format I'm testing out. All I can say for now is: think about a book club if the point wasn't the book itself but your own introspection - through the portal of the book's plot and world, and using the characters as your avatar. Which character would you choose to go on this journey? Is it Jo March from Little Women? Why do I feel like she'd be a go-to for many of us?
Questions That Serve
Lastly, I'm revisiting old episodes of Looks Like Work while we prepare to launch season 3, and this one with my coach Christina Langdon from season 1 is a goodie. Here are a few questions that might serve you this week. Feel free to let me know which one you've adopted!
Yours, Chedva x
*In hindsight that's not true, but that's how it felt at that moment.
**Also I then immeditely lost my notebook, and only found it a few weeks ago after doing this exercise again, how spooky?